A Time for Radical Self-Care: Save Your Life, Too
Since mid-October I have the same conversation with myself and other healers: we're being called to our courage and sometimes that means entering deep self-care.
I received this request before the election from the marrow in my bones and I received it more easily than perhaps any other time in my life. I am ready to rest for a moment because 2016 landed some hard blows. The impact helped me learn myself more intimately so I know how to care for myself better than ever. I also respect the natural cycles of my being with the seasons--our psyches are already in winter in my part of the world. It's time to observe, reflect, and be cavernous.
As my healing communities talk about self-care right now we see its aching need. Some of us are so centered in our knowing that we are rooted wholly through; we aren't so influenced by the external anxiety, panic, and shallow urgency in the air. Over the years, the culmination of our own healing and our community-building remind us that we can continue some aspects of our healing for others and respond more deeply to our own need for care now. We see the rhythm of sub/emerge in our inner-waters and trust that we are preparing for much more to come.
So, I offer these few and fleeting observations to each of you whom I wish well-being during such tremendous times.
First, our self care is our balance to living in a complex world where we are vulnerable. Some folks mistake self-care for not showing up--this is different. Many of us who have been showing up for ourselves and our people for the benefit of us all are among the most marginalized and vulnerable, therefore, self-care tips the balance back toward our wellbeing. If you find that your quality of being or ways in which you show up are poor because you have embraced imbalance, then there is a lot of support to make that change.
Second, be clear about what is your self care and what is your healing. Self care and healing are not the same although all of our healing requires a degree of self care. In my experience, the distinction is between the ways in which I maintain my wellbeing day-to-day and the ways I discover and address root beliefs and patterns that keep me disconnected from all life and prevent me from experiencing wholeness. At the very least, please tend to your self care, and gauge your capacity for intentional healing.
Third, it's not about you and it's all about you. This means the time to set aside ego-driven stories about saving the world or being solely responsible for certain things happening. Listen more and play your role--that's all we need to do. Lives are at stake. Martyrdom and (spiritual) materialism will just be in the way. At the same time, be aware of where you are and what is within your sphere of influence. Act from the inside out. When you are unsure of what to do, tend to yourself within the support you have. If you need more support, reach out to folks who you love but never ask anything for or visible community folk whom you respect.
We need all of us here, present and strong. Save your own life too.