Renewal is as inevitable as death

This post is accompanied by a ritual called "Gift For 7" in the bi-monthly HealingTools newsletter. Visit this page to subscribe. Any person who subscribes before October 20 will receive this full newsletter with the Gift For 7 ritual.


"We are on the other side of a hard-earned two weeks. Oya continues to claim Her time with a fierceness and finality. My deepest hope is that you've felt the sweet release of an exhalation in some area of your life.  Ease is hard to come by these days, and it's a paradox that wants for our (in)(at)tention.

So take a collective breath with me--one that takes up more oxygen than you feel rightful to take.

And allow it to unfurl from the depths of your throat and length of your tongue--audibly, fully and completely. 

Grief is rising from embers of Oya's harvest with a distinctive smell. It's neither "bad" or "good," rather, it's a weight that needs to be held, broken up, and scattered within and through us as memory. So many of us are grieving people and beings who have transitioned, well-made life plans, relationships of all varieties, aspects of ourselves to which we've clung, and, we hold these griefs as we experience a world we once knew take a radical new form. It's a lot. 

My friend and powerful mystic, Evelyn Bandoh, describes this process of stripping away toward home-going as a "death spiral." Sometimes, this process is as terrifying as it sounds. Other times we can celebrate Divine forces that favor us enough to illuminate decay and let it pass.

It's never about the transitions themselves but our conscious relationships to them. A grief process can help doula our conscious relationships by ushering an experience of loss through us into integration. We all probably need more grief processing in our lives--not to permanently memorialize pain but to momentously compost possibility."